Here is the view on the front of a pink toy car my sister passed to us (used to be her daughter’s toy).  Every time I look at this, it sort of cracks me up.  And I can’t help but think the graphics are furthering the stereotype that all single white ladies of a certain age are bound to end up in the company of 1 to 50 cats, to become the dreaded “cat lady.”  Also note the hearts on the windshield wipers and grill, and the lovely pink bow on the roof.  I sure hope the “boy” version of this toy has a man dressed as a wizard, clutching his rule book for Dungeons and Dragons, while sitting next to a life-size Darth Vader mannequin (just to make things fair).

Let’s be honest though, as frustrating as it is, most stereotypes exist because enough people made them true.  This is unendingly irritating to those outliers who don’t fit the mold; and in some cases, all the ‘normal’ people who have been classed a certain way, because of a few noticeable weirdos.  The “crazy cat lady” stigma is pretty interesting.  I saw a 20/20 a while back that was all about this phenomenon.  For the ladies they interviewed, it was an addiction; they didn’t like what they had become, but they just couldn’t stop collecting new kitties.  If you must be psychologically damaged (with the desperate need to take care of things), nurturing stray felines might be a more healthy outlet than the endless dating of inappropriate and also psychologically damaged men (who will also poo poo all over your life).  Where it crosses the line, is when you have 50 cats in an apartment which is both unhealthy for the cats as well as the human caretaker (and imagine the smell, yuck!).

I love most all animals (I am purposefully snubbing you, FERETS) but if you’re looking for unconditional love, you might do better to get a dog.  Cats are definitely more vindictive (another stereotype as seen in the movie “Oliver and Company”); if you make them angry or don’t give them the attention they desire, they will find a way to smite you.

Next time you see a suspected “Crazy Cat Lady” get over your disapproval and give her a nice smile and wave; it might brighten her day after all the litterbox changing, scratches, hissy fits, and meowing she has undoubtedly endured.  Also, buy your girl children a toy Mazeratti in a gender neutral color, so that they too know that they can have a “sports-car-mid-life-crisis” just like the boys (stereotypes are fun)!

The “F” word is a controversial subject, to be sure.  A few days ago I posted a mini rant on FaceBook about how tired I was of seeing the “f” word typed out on people’s posts and comments.  I didn’t really go into a lot of detail, because I didn’t want to make it too long.  As it turns out, FB is not the best platform for relaying a somewhat philosophical stream of consciousness.

I definitely hit a few nerves and got some sarcastic responses, which I expected.  That’s ok.  But before you jump to any conclusions, hear me out.

Firstly, I would like to point out that most people on FaceBook easily have hundreds of “friends.”  This would definitely qualify as “mixed” company; these “friends” come from all different backgrounds and generations (they could be parents, kindergarten teachers, locker buddies, etc).  So I find it a bit surprising and a little offensive to see the “F” word typed out all the time.  Its one thing if it is your own post and your friends know your affinity for expletives, but quite another if you post it on someone else’s comments section, not knowing if their sweet grandma will read it, and especially if it is for something as ridiculous as “That f$#%ing movie is awesome!”  Seriously?

Anyhow, the whole thing got me thinking about the state of things in our world and the moral relativism of today, and how we are very lax about being respectful and trying to be our best selves.  It is very chic to be “flawed”, which you can easily see in almost all of the protagonists on any primetime show on TV.  I am amazed what the FCC allows to be broadcasted during the hours when impressionable minds are most likely to watch.  We all know the curse words, especially our youth, but do we need to slap it into everyone’s face everyday in such a casual way?

Don’t get me wrong, I have not achieved sainthood in this department.  I have cursed, I have used “the word,” I have laughed at it too; and I am disappointed in myself for not using better verbal judgment and restraint.  The “F” word can be a big stress reliever; because of the power we allow it to hold.  A bad day at work might be a little less stressful, if we vent it out.  If you drop something heavy on your foot, you might feel a little less pain by belting it out.  In a well-timed situation, it can be really funny.  But shouldn’t we try a little harder to be more high-brow?

We can’t change the inherent meaning the word holds; it’s been around too long, so take that argument out of your arsenal.  It’s understood, and to quote ‘Sally Albright’ “It’s already out there.”

So when in Rome, don’t do as the Romans do (ie: let your world spiral more and more into lax morals, eccentric hedonism and valueless ideals, until it culminates in the total destruction of your entire nation).  Use a little economy when picking out your swears; maybe save them for when you accidentally slam your finger in a door or when the sky is falling.

<end rant\>

I believe this shot is from Vanity Fair

Johnny Depp.  Wow.  Friends and relatives have long known of my obsession with Johnny Depp, which began as a child.  I truly admire him as an actor, not in the lusty way SOME people like The Rock (for example) but more in the way of admiring his skillful acting and ability to become a new persona (it doesn’t hurt that he’s handsome either).  I have seen nearly all of his movies, but a quick check over at Imdb shows I have missed a few.  Oh, and I watched EVERY SINGLE episode of 21 Jump Street that he was in.

He seems like a cool guy,  a bit offbeat, and would probably ‘tell it like it is.’  If I could have coffee with him, I don’t even know what I would ask him; maybe how he prepares for a role?  If I were a dude, I would want to be like him, effortlessly cool and owner of excellent hair (follicles allowing).  He really chooses interesting roles and is no type-cast traditional hollywood hunk.  I am also happy to see he has a lot of work in production; his performances are totally worth the pumped-up movie theatre prices.  I really have no point, except that we should all take a moment and appreciate this excellent actor and the unique work he contributes to our world.

Oh, Your Royal Deppness, if you ever find yourself needing an extra friend or dinner party invitee, look no further!

Southwest Chicken Salad (in a black bowl)

I love to cook.  I think my enjoyment and desire for cooking comes from my mother, who is indeed a very good cook.  I grew up watching her make wonderful things and eventually I cooked many meals for the family too.  Today I love to cook for my family, and the more of us that get together, the more I can justify going over the top a bit.  I am by no means a classically-trained gourmet home-chef (by any definition).  My cooking style is a little manic and very much “on the fly.”  I have never made mango salsa or anything with chutney; I like putting little twists on simple meals.

My definition of my cooking style equates to something like this: 1 part alchemy, 2 parts artistry, 3 parts spontaneity, and 4 parts of HUGE mess.  No matter what I make, the kitchen is most certainly destroyed by the end.  Even though it would be far more economical, I never plan a menu for the week.  I always mean to, but I can never quite commit.  Instead, I buy base ingredients that sound good to me each week. There are a few staples I can never say no to, like mushrooms, bell peppers, green onion, and tomato; you can make almost anything more interesting and delicious with these ingredients.  I often times don’t decided what I am making, until 5 minutes before I pull the ingredients out of the fridge.

The “alchemy” part of my cooking comes from my absurd love of spices.  I have done absolutely NO research on them, don’t know how to use them properly at all, I just go with my gut.  My brother-in-law would be horrified as he is a very disciplined foodie;  however, I don’t care if I am overheating my garlic or whatever, I just know what tastes good!  My favorite spices include: basil, cilantro, curry, smoked paprika, pepper, garlic salt and italian seasoning.  I add a little of this, a little of that, I never EVER measure and ….voila, food-gold!

The artistry happens while (and how) the food is prepared and then comes to its ultimate climax on the plate.  I do love to make a beautiful plate.  The more color, the better!  We raised some eyebrows when we registered for black dishes, when we got married.  But I swear, they make almost any food even more beautiful than it already was.  The contrast automatically makes every color more vivid and every detail more striking.  Especially if you serve a fluted dish of creme brulee, with a black plate showered in powdered sugar with raspberries, blackberries, and blueberries as a charger.

I think someone could make a study of cooking styles and what it says about our inner personality.  My husband occasionally utilizes the kitchen, and I have to immediately leave.   He measures EVERYTHING sooooo carefully and times everything and it drives me crazy, I just cannot watch it.  Conversely, he is dismayed that I time almost nothing.  He asks me how I will know when it’s done, and I tell him “When it feels right, or looks right.”  Out of the kitchen, we are no “Dharma and Greg.”  He isn’t the straight-laced rule-follower, I am.  I’m not the free-spirited “everything will turn out okay” one, he is.  Why do we switch in the kitchen?   Hmm….

What would Freud say?

When I was in college, for Fashion Design,  I had a “Fashion Drawing” class, taught by one of my favorite professors.  Among her many gifts, was her unabashed and unwavering commitment to be totally and completely blunt.  For some, this rubbed them the wrong way and they often complained about her lack of bedside manner.  For me, it was a wonderful breath of fresh air.  No longer would I have to worry, ponder, or hypothesize what my professor was saying in order to extract her true meaning; she would just tell you flat out.  As you can imagine, this was often very entertaining to witness.

In my Fashion Drawing class, this quality was often comical.  You could hear her wandering through the class relaying such beauties as “Wow…you aren’t very good at drawing are you?”,  ”I think you should start over”, etc.  One class, when we were working on “Fashion Face” she approached me to see how my drawing was going.  I had selected Christy Turlington, as the fashion face I would be illustrating.  I had just spent about an hour perfecting her eyes, when my professor walked over and said “Do you have a really big eraser?”  Half entertained and half-shocked, I handed her over my eraser and watched in horror as she completely erased one of the eyes I had just slaved over.  She told me to re-draw it better this time.  After I got over my surprise, I started back in on my drawing and did a much better job with that eye.  She saved me a lot of time by not beating-around-the-bush and giving me some namby-pamby “Maybe you should look at this and fix it” speech.  Direct, honest, helpful.  The drawing turned out much better than it would have.  It still wasn’t perfect and I definitely lengthened the face too much (I am always drawn to do this for some reason).  But it was better, because she gave me a much needed “push.”

I think this approach to information-relaying is really significant and vital in teaching people to be honest with themselves and well, to learn.  I purposely avoided professors who gave you an “a” just for showing up and being polite.  If I wanted to pay all that money to have people be “nice” to me, I would just go to a spa or something.  If you are paying for your education, you want to be challenged and work hard and come out better at things, than when you went in.  I think this is one of the things that is getting generationally worse.  Attention, teachers and professors of the world, don’t coddle your students and give “sympathy grades”, challenge them and respect them enough to make them learn!!!!!!

And next time you are faced in your daily life with an “opinion giving” moment, stop to consider whether someone is asking for reassurance or if they really want the truth.  You can be nicely blunt and you might just save them time or help them become better at something!

The newest in celebrity hair trends.  Its not blonde, its not brunette, its: BRONDE.  Bronde is a combination of carmely brown tones mixed with golden honey blonde high-notes.  This color sensation was featured in Glamour magazine, with many celebrities following this new style (Jennifer Aniston, Fergie, Jennifer Lopez, etc).  Bronde warms up your look and can be pulled off by many skin tones; its also a wonderful way to avoid dramatic roots (if you wait a while in between salon visits).

If I was into throwing all my money at my colorist (if I had one), I would totally go Bronde!

Credit Fox, via MTV Blog

A couple of weeks ago, I was watching American Idol (I know, I know) and I was captivated by Carrie Underwood’s way cool zipper-tape bolero jacket.  Yowza is it hot (and should definitely be in my closet)!  I went scrambling through the web to find out more about it; and finally found a post on MTV’s blog.  It is a piece by the company White Trash Beautiful.  Cheeky name aside, it is a fabulous piece and a breath of fresh air.  Their website appears to be under construction; I am very curious to see the rest of their offering (and if it can keep up with this jacket).

Hmmmm…Vanity and Beauty, certainly one of those hot-sport opinion type subjects.  In an ideal world, we would not be aware of our physical differences the way we are now, we would see the beauty in everything.  However, most of us are incredibly aware of our aesthetic-disparities and there are about a million and one products on the market to aid us in enhancing our beauty.  Creams, cleansers, make-up, lotions, etc.  Even working out in the gym is a beauty-aide to most (I wouldn’t believe many people who would say it was for strength only).  I don’t view the enhancement of beauty with a puritanical sense of evil, but I also think there is a line that can be crossed, into the “too much” category.

When I was a teenager, my mother bought me a book called “The Beauty Myth.”  With all the glamour magazines and commercial, hyped-up importance of physical appearance, its no surprise that she didn’t want me to get sucked into valuing the wrong things and a lifetime of self-depreciating.   I never could seem to get around to reading it; I tried several months ago, but the voice came across a bit too militant for my taste.  Also, I was only a couple chapters into the book and the author had mentioned the title of her book about 5 million times; that’s as annoying as a rap song where the artist has to say his name over and over to pump up his ego.

All things are best when used in moderation.  I am not afraid to admit that I LOVE make-up!  All the packaging and colors and buzz words have got me totally suckered.  My favorite is eye-makeup; I love blending the colors and using my eyelids as a canvas.  Don’t get me wrong, I am not into the whole Tammy-Fay-Baker or Taylor Momsen look; once again….moderation is key.  However, I see nothing wrong w/ enhancing your eye color, or adding a bit more rosiness to one’s cheeks or lips.  If you find it enjoyable and fun, go for it!  If you have a night out on the town, feel free to go overboard; it is only temporary and washes off fairly easily.

I do draw the line at excessive “procedures” and unhealthy obsession with looks.  Most magazines have danced way over the line and are out there in the stratosphere.  I understand that no one wants to look at photos of average un-make-up-ed people, but we also don’t want to have ridiculously idealized/photo-shopped images shoved down our throats and presented as “truth.”  The Ralph Lauren photo-scandal earlier this year was one of the most obvious offenses; where a model (who is perfectly fit, by the way) was photo-shopped so much that her waist was smaller than her head.  There was a big back-lash and nobody wanted to accept responsibility.  Most of the time, these things are way more subtle and aren’t noticed by the average reader (who longingly wishes they could be as thin, pretty, or wrinkle-free as the fictitious woman on the cover).

I can easily identify with the views on both sides of these kinds of issues, which leads me to believe that the true answer is balance.  Teach your children (and your self) to be grounded about beauty, but not to be afraid to express yourself; whether through a new haircut, 50 reps at the gym, or some daubs of make-up.  If you remember to value the body God gave you, with all its interests and flaws, you will be way more impervious to the commercial forces that want to convince you to buy their products by telling you you’re not pretty/fit/interesting enough.  Let’s have fun with it, without mutilating ourselves into some kind of android barbie-dolls.  When it comes to your image, always remember these words “Enhance, don’t create”!

Now, a few of my favorite cosmetic products.

EYE SHADOW:      Almay “intense i-color” (cheap) Este Lauder “Pure Color” eye shadow (splurge)

HAIR COLOR:            Loreal Excellence Creme (cheap) JCPenney Color Salon (economical splurge)

MASCARA:                  Covergirl “Lash Blast Volume” (cheap) Christian Dior “Dior Show” (splurge)

I know this is sort of random, but hear me out.  The other day I was making dinner; I was rinsing some spinach and found a 3 leaf clover.  I thought “Wow, that’s pretty weird.”  And truth be told, it was quite a lovely specimen, I truly wish I had photographed it before it shriveled-up on my counter.  Anyhow, I then thought “Hmm…this has got to be at least worth some luck.  I know it’s only a 3 leaf clover, but come on, thats a rare thing to find in your salad.”  The more I pontificated on the subject the more I realized that finding a 3 leaf clover in your salad is kind of like receiving the “89″ of luck.  It’s not quite the traditional and accepted standard of luck, but its knocking on Luck’s door.

All of this reminded me of a college art class I took, DESIGN I.  This class was focused on studying the fundamental concepts in art.  Composition, Color Theory, Replication, blah, blah, blah, etc.  This class was a lab class taught by a TA (teachers assistant).  Ours happened to be some chick in her early 20′s, complete with hippie wardrobe and nose ring.  None of this was a problem; the problem was that this chick graded with an interesting rubric which included: (1) How much do you suck up to her (2) How often do you compliment her disjointed outfits (3) If you were male (or who knows, maybe female too), how often did you flirt with her, etc.  Since I was unwilling to do any of these things, the woman seemed to give me an “89″ on almost all of my projects.  An 89!!!!!

Here is the problem with an 89.  It is a B+ and a step ahead of all the other “B” grades, an outcast if you will.  And yet, it is just barely not an “A”, just enough to estrange it from all other “A” grades.  So not only is it one of the worst numbers, it is also the loneliest.  Back to the matter at hand; yes, I did make B’s and even a few C’s in college, but never in an Art related subject.  I knew what I was doing and I was good; every project I turned in to this infernal woman was worth AT LEAST and “A.”  Hmph!  I always found her grading infuriating and frustrating.  I would rather have had a true “A” or an “85″….but not an “89,” which was simply saying “you’re not A material, but your close.”  I am sure she felt she was really an inspiration to us, and pushing us to the ‘next level’ and all.  Whatever.  I would rather have it ‘all or nothing;’ not a silly grade that sashays between a B and A.

Yes, I am under 30 and in possession of many gray/white/silver/whatever hairs.  This may surprise you, but for some of us it is simply genetic destiny to go “gray” early.  I remember finding my first white hair when I was 15; they have only multiplied since.  Over the years I have dyed my hair for fun; now, for the first time, it was to “cover grays.”  Oh, and to smooth out the 2-tone condition it has been in since I quit dying it when I was pregnant.

Guys get to be “distinguished” looking and all us women get is “old.”  Why do we have to change every naturally occurring phenomenon that happens to our bodies?  Our beauty standards seem to be set in stone on some things.  We shave, pluck, wax, powder, dye, straighten, curl, etc. everything.  Why can’t we at least have gray hair?

Despite common perception of the inherent “oldness” of gray hair, my husband told me he kind of digs it.  He apologized if it sounded “weird” which I quickly assured him was the opposite of what I thought (of his comment).  And I promise I wasn’t bribing him in any way to say such a thing, it was genuine.   And I thought “That is pretty cool.  And good thing too, because these puppies are just gonna keep increasing each year and I am sure I will eventually tire of dying it.”  What a great guy!