The Cinderella Complex
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Have you ever met someone who seemed too good to be true? A little too sweet? A little too pure? Doesn’t use sarcasm? Has cartoon squirrels, bunnies, and birds perched on her/his shoulders?
I have met some people who seem nice and may even be sincere, but seem just a little too nice and perfect. It makes me uncomfortable and it makes me feel guilty for thinking they are full of crap (as their outward appearance, bunnies and all, is seemingly nice and charming). Am I so jaded that I can’t get over their super-sweet facade to see that they could be ‘for real’? I suppose this is all based on my theory that everyone has flaws, a bad day, etc. and can’t possibly like everyone and everything all the time. I’d like to think I have good instincts for discerning a person’s true nature; but some people I simply cannot fathom. My realist side says they are probably faking it, though their motivation makes this either a sinister or polite gesture. Or is it possible? Could this be the long lost human component of the old-school Disney movies?
Don’t get me wrong, I have met other people who are ridiculously nice and are believable (thank goodness for these people). Conversely, I have also met people that have a very obvious “transparent niceness” (as my husband calls it), where you can see the fangs just beyond the smile. Its this third category that always leaves me a bit uneasy.
I want to be a nice person and believe it, but I just can’t get there. For now, I just tread lightly and try to be super nice back to these people (even though they make me feel like Cruella DaVille by comparison). Also, I don’t trust people who don’t use/get humor. I used to have an optometrist (Dr.Crazy Eyes…that’s another story) who was always super serious. It made me nervous. I was so uncomfortable with him and he didn’t laugh or smile. Maybe he was a robot? I changed doctors; the new guy is great. He was concerned about an ongoing ocular issue, I told him I’d “keep an eye on it.” He smirked. Now that’s more like it.
Go with the Flow
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Why a blurry photo of flowers? Because they’re pretty, just go with it.
I must say, the past year has taught me volumes in “going with the flow.” I have learned how to handle disappointment, sudden news, bad news, and scary news. I have learned to calm down and, when necessary, go limp and just let the situation pan out. As a control freak, it is hard to relinquish control over a situation; but truth is, you never have control over the situation. That’s just your brain tricking you into thinking you can be omnipresent and call the shots. Its all out of our hands. As cliche as it sounds, the real trick is how you handle the situations life dishes out. You can either be stubborn and delusional or accept unchangeable factors with grace and the changeable ones with gratitude.
Although I can’t always get to the grace right away, I have learned to get there a little bit sooner. I have had a year of professional set-backs, medical surprises and a few other things. But as dramatic as they seemed at the time (and 9 months of that time was teeming with pregnancy hormones) I made it through each and every one. And to get cliche again, I am a better and stronger person for it.
So many people I know are dealing with stressful situations right now; though you might not be able to fix the situation you are in, you can control the way it affects you. If you can’t find a silver lining, then at least take comfort in the fact that it can’t last forever, and you will get through it. I think my readership of 2-6 (oh, and all that Russian spam I get) can agree that tomorrow is another day.
I truly believe everything happens for a reason, even if it doesn’t make sense in a day, a month, a year, a decade, or ever. My faith in that gets me through the hard times and helps me to appreciate and to be extremely thankful for all the good times.
The thing taking over my backyard……muahaha
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The photo doesn’t do it justice, but this plant is MASSIVE. A 2 year old Vitex, a spring-time gift from my parents. Normally, I am the resident pruner/landscape-artist. But due to our recent parenthood, I have not been taking care of any of the plants. My goal with the Vitex was to trim it like a tree (my parents’ is grown in this style and is gorgeous). Last year this plant was tiny and easy to manage. Now, every time I go outside, I am amazed at how large and unruly it has become.
It attracts a lot of insects and birds, which is great. Although I am much more partial to the Monarch butterflies than the HUGE bumble bees that look like they could bench press me. One evening I was gazing at this monstrous plant and thought I saw 2 large bugs, until I inspected closer and realized it was two humming-birds, how cool is that?! I know I must be getting older when I am posting about backyard plants and marveling at birds. Sorry, nothing fast or furious about this post.
I do well with plants that thrive on neglect, just ask my lovely aloe plants. Or the corn plant in my living room that the cat has sampled many times. But don’t ask the poor poor Basil that was growing outside.
My plan on taming the Vitex is to wait until fall/winter, when all the leaves have fallen off. When I can safely prune, without the company of steroid-swigging bees. If you need a good yard-plant that will flourish without attention and attract interesting bugs/birds, look no further than the Vitex.
We will miss you and your mustache!!
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Photo by Pat Arnow
John Stossel has left 20/20 for his own show on a new Fox cable news channel. I have been watching 20/20 since I was a kid and I love John Stossel. He always had the best stories, wonderful interviewing/presenting skills, and I really enjoyed his no-nonsense “Give Me a Break” segments. I have to also admit that part of my affinity for Mr.Stossel stems from his mustache, which reminds me of my dad, so I trusted him from day one.
Mr.Stossel you have a nice mustache, but my dad's will always be my favorite.
No matter what your political views are, you have to appreciate someone with a fresh perspective in a sea of media-political-sameness. I found Mr. Stossel’s libertarian perspective to give each story a clear and non-B.S. conveyance. I wish I had cable so I could watch him on his new show. I will probably continue to watch 20/20, as it is a Saturday morning ritual (aided by a DVR and coffee), but it just won’t be the same!
Good luck to you Mr. Stossel, you are awesome! Love all your pieces! Sorry the network guys blocked your story on Obama’s Health Care Plan, I would have like to hear it. If I ever get cable, I will definitely look up your show!
Considering the Inconsiderate: Why isn’t there a Driver Etiquette class for the rude?!
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I often wonder, when driving around, what in the world is wrong with people. There are soooooo many inconsiderate drivers on the road that it boggles the mind.
1. Why do some people in the left lane pull way up, past the stopping point, at intersections; when I, an innocent driver, am trying to make a right on red? I have to keep ooching up and craning my neck to see around the offending vehicle. What’s up with that? Unless there are new driving laws that I am unaware of, there is no such thing as a “left on red,” so what on earth are these people doing? Can’t they see that I am trying to make a right? Are they going to pay for my chiropractic-neck-spasm-care? Are they going to get a clue?
2. Although I know that I have not washed my car in over a year (I know…I know…), it is not an invitation to hit my car with your car door/metal implement/farm equipment! Why don’t people open their doors w/ caution and pay attention to their surroundings? I am not even kidding you, TWICE I have been sitting IN MY CAR and people have parked next to me and SLAMMED their car door into my vehicle (enough to push my car up on its shocks). What gives??!! Did everyone just decide that its ok to run around and act like a total jerk and damage other people’s expensive property? And both of those times the offending drivers were all “what? is there a problem?” Arg! Don’t these people believe in car-karma? Someday, someone is going to hit THEIR car and I will be laughing down from my soap box. And not to speak out against my own sex, but these people are often times ladies with giant sunglasses in giant SUVs (probably sipping their starbucks, while petting their lap dog and texting, in between taking glances at their TV (which probably has The View on it)). Sheesh…
There are many more instances of car-rudeness (that are totally avoidable), but this is all I have the energy to divulge. Now don’t get me wrong, we can’t all be gracious and considerate drivers all the time, but we really ought to aim for that as much as possible. And no, I am no angel behind the wheel all the time, we all have our moments….like the time I was driving with my sister in a parking garage and this rude woman was making it impossible for me to get in the spot I wanted and I said “what a ho!” and she apparently read my lips and made an angry face. That wasn’t very kind of me, but the rest of the time I try very hard to be a safe and polite driver.
Until such a time as all drivers consider the people/cars around them, I will just have to continue to white-knuckle it and try to avoid people who try to crash into my car. Some amount of driving stress is healthy, right?
(ps The photo is not my car, I am too nervous to park a truck!)
The Motherhood
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Ah, The Motherhood. It has been nearly 4 weeks since I have joined ‘the hood’ and life is changing everyday. It is wonderful, it is difficult, it is change. My uptight boundaries on certain things have begun to slide, as I have re-sorted my priorities.
On a particular day, I was holding (and trying to soothe) a crying baby, while the cat threw up all over the dining room and the dog went in for a free upchuck-buffet. As I was about to yell at the dog (as I usually chase her away and clean up the barf), I had to stop myself, grimace, and turn away….knowing that the dog was going to town on the cat’s..er…..leftovers. Because, in truth, I could not put the baby down, I could not hold the baby while simultaneously cleaning the carpet, so I just had to take a deep breath and let the circle of life take care of itself.
I have gained immeasurable respect for parents everywhere, as well as mothers specifically. Especially breast-feeding mothers; you all deserve a medal (and a ferrari, and some diamonds, and a cabana boy to fan you when you get hot).
Some things I took for granted and now hold in high esteem:
-Sleep
-Showers
-Make-up
-Going to the bathroom
-Eating
-Talking to another adult
-Quiet Time
-Finding time to write a blog post
-Sleep
-Did I mention: sleep?
Although it is hard work, it is incredibly rewarding and I would give up all these things just to watch my sweet baby sleep or smile or even cry. Life is definitely shifting a bit; when baby poop makes you give your husband a high-five, things are surely seen in a new light.
It’s my cat in a box…..
Posted by admin | Filed under Wacky Pet Stories
The cat saga continues further. As our cat had another “urinary incident”, although we have no idea when it happened as our CSI unit is off duty, we decided that as responsible cat parents-we needed to rule out any medical causes. We had been putting this off, as we are pretty sure its behavioral; but alas, we had to know.
I put the cat in her kennel, that she hasn’t been inside of for years, and she was very put out by this (a bad day to wear black, as I was quickly wearing my own fur coat). She serenaded me the whole way to the vet with the most sad and pathetic meows (“what are you doing to me?” ”what did I ever do to you?” “If you thought I was pooping on your floor before, just you wait!!”).
At the vet, she was being so unruly, they brought in an extra set of hands to hold her down. She was hissing and salivating like the Exorcist as they checked her out (boy, she did not like that thermometer). Then, they brought in a plexi-glass box that looks like something Houdini might try to escape from and popped her in it. As they were closing the lid, she thrashed around like something out of Jurassic Park–thankfully, they secured the latches just in time. Apparently, they use this box to pump in a bit of “knock out” gas; b/c cats aren’t the best patients and wouldn’t sit still for a little cat-sized mask. They had to calm her down in order to draw blood and get a urine sample.
I have to wait until tomorrow for the blood results, but they were able to give me the urine-analysis today; she is totally healthy in regard to her urine, so its not a urinary tract infection. When they brought my kooky kitty back in the room she was looking very dazed and I think she could probably smell the color purple and hear the trees talking to her. In fact, she kept singing “smoke on the water…” the whole way home, and remarked that my driving was very “far out” and “real groovy.”
I hate to get all Miss Cleo on you, but I am pretty sure the blood results are going to be totally normal too. So, I have just paid $200 to get my cat high; all I can say is, I hope it was the “good stuff.”
Marley and HD
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Tonight we finally watched “Marley and Me.” I had read and enjoyed the book and borrowed the movie (before I read the book, I thought a movie about a dog….how sappy, at least its not “Airbud Part 5″). I really enjoyed the movie too. Very sweet and touching, especially if you are a dog person.
Well, our dog has a little endearing foible relating to animals, as viewed on TV. Whenever she sees pets on TV, she is prone to : bark, run up the the tv, put her paws on the screen (to my husband’s horror) and run around the tv stand looking for the animals and sometimes a quick check over in the fireplace (just in case). No matter how many times we tell her “no” and she finds no animals, she can’t stop. Well, this movie just about drove her nuts; its hard to blame her; our TV is quite large and HD receptive, so the pets do look very real and attainable. Finally, we snuggled her in a blanket and covered her head (like a canary) and she went to sleep. All those TV dogs proved just too much for her sensitive constitution.
What’s love got to “doo-doo” with it? The cat saga continues…
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Well….I was wrong about the litter-box impetus in our cat fecal-fiesta problem. Either that, or the cat has multiple motivations for her “gift” giving. We got a lovely surprise (by “we”, I mean “me”) Thursday morning, times 2!! And Miss Thang’s litter-box had been cleaned to pristine conditions the previous day. Gone was the comfort of knowing what was going on in her cat-brain, she would rather be a creature of mystery and intrigue. It is those days that all I can think about is packing her suitcase, giving her cab fare, and wishing her luck in the “big city.” But, always, later I look into her crazy blue eyes and take it all back, and sincerely feel she will stop doing this, as she lovingly (and inexplicably) bites my feet.
The cat has been part of our lives for about 8 years now. My husband got her in college b/c one of his friends had to get rid of this cute Siamese kitten, when his landlady discovered the cat’s existence. The irresponsible dude had been taking the cat around with him in a back-pack, I believe she was taken from her mother when she was too young, and now- was only rescued to encounter more bizarre experiences as the new room-mate to 3 college guys and their antics. No wonder the poor thing is psychologically deranged!
It has been suggested that her poo-poo behavior may be a result of her heightened sensitivity to the fact that we have a baby on the way…I am beginning to wonder if this could be the cause. However, my memory is a bit fuzzy on the exact start date of this phenomenon. A few years ago when we got the puppy and agonized over her potty training and “slip ups” (ps. Italian Greyhounds are known for their difficulties in adapting to potty training); we now realize some of those “accidents” must have been from the cat. You can’t blame us for getting confused, our cat easily outweighs our aerodynamic dog–and their “business” is approximately the same size. So maybe this is her emotional rage response. Since she can’t express her jealous angst in the form of bad poetry, rock music, yelling fights, or herbal experimentation (unless you count cat-nip), she has settled on the time-honored-tradition of “doo deposits.”
I guess all we can do is play the waiting game and keep a close eye on her, when the stork finally brings us our baby (yes, that’s where babies come from; what? oh, this is a basketball I shoplifted, under my shirt–I just think its “neat” to leave it there).
Busted!!!
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This festive feline may look innocent to you, but don’t be fooled. She is wanted on criminal charges of the defiling of living-room carpet and a high-quality puzzle.
Lately, our cat has been “testing her boundaries” by leaving us …um “biodegradable” compost commentaries on her wants, needs, and desires.
The message for today was: Excuse me! Can I get a litter box change? Once a week is not enough for my precious sensibilities. As you know, I am ‘large and in charge’ which means I am leaving more , er, “leavings” than a normal cat. And I CANNOT be expected to continuously re-use a polluted box. I thought I made myself clear with the last present I left you; apparently NOT. Due to the fact that I do not have enough dexterity in my paws to type my weekly newsletter to you, you will have to settle for my special “press releases.” Seriously, change my box now…..or else!!!!
Did I mention that litter box duty is one of my husband’s chores? Yet our cat’s impeccable timing is such that I am the only one home when such “messages” are left. I guess she knows that I am a worthy and outspoken lobbyist in the “clean the cat box” mission; she is simply giving me the inspiration to proceed on her behalf.
The whole peeing in the puzzle box thing is a new twist she added. We were working on a huge 2000 piece puzzle ( I know…we’re nerdy) of Las Vegas, and left the box lids with un-assigned puzzle pieces on the floor. It was obvious she scratched litter-box-style, b/c there were little puzzle pieces strewn around the crime scene. Yuck!
Ok cat, message noted, don’t do it again—or its off to the convent for you! Where there are no pink shoes of nieces to horde, no bare feet to bite, and no computer screens to smudge w/ your paws.
